“They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself.” – Andy Warhol
The actual time on a clock is constantly changing, but really it’s all the same. We, as humans, are the ones who have to make each hour, minute, and second different and distinguishable from the rest.
“Once the water is deep enough that you must swim to stay afloat, does it really matter how deep the pool is?” – Seth Godin
After you commit to something, no matter how difficult it gets, you can’t pull back, otherwise you’ll find yourself sinking to the bottom of the pool… unless you’re handed a life vest.
Why do people, usually a potential date, ask this in the first place?
On the surface, it’s a compliment, I guess, because this person is essentially saying you seem like a good catch, but deep down it’s really a pointless question to ask. The fact remains that people in general, whether young or old, are single at different times in their life. It happens, so instead of asking why, take advantage of someone’s singleness. Also, depending on who it’s coming from, the question might actually be an insult, as in saying “What’s wrong with you, why does no one want to be with you?”
I’ve gotten this question myself quite a few times. The first couple of times I was taken off guard and didn’t exactly know what to answer. But since then I have prepared a safe answer for it, which leads me to…
There are an array of reasons why someone could be single, ranging from obvious reasons to it’s better not to know reasons. But really, why would you be single? Obviously you’re not going to put yourself down and disclose your negative characteristics, instead you might say:
- “I’m not looking for a relationship right now.”
- “I don’t feel ready for a relationship at the moment.”
- “I don’t have time for a relationship.” or
“I’m way too busy to be in a relationship.”
- “I’m casually dating multiple people, and don’t want to settle down with one.”
- “I’m not the dating type.”
But no matter what, I think the universal safe answer for anyone and everyone is: “I just haven’t met the right person yet.”
Perhaps 50% of the time it’s not that we’re not mentally ready or willing to date, it’s simply that we haven’t met someone who we find to be not just a good catch, but also a good match. The other 50%, let’s face it, it’s that we are difficulty, greedy, and picky… or is that just me? I digress.
I think that if we met someone who we like head over heels, and from head to heels, we would probably do everything possible to make it work no matter what, and if the timing is right, then everything should fall into place. In other cases, if there’s any doubt in either our attraction or compatibility to someone, we might make up an excuse for why we can’t keep seeing them or why we can’t be official.
The tricky part in all of this is finding that person who we find worthy of consuming our time, of requiring our attention, and, ultimately, of suffering for. In the meantime, you should avoid asking this question to anyone you’re dating or are trying to date. Just a suggestion…
“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” – Bob Marley