Tag Archive | personal

There’s something I’ve been meaning to ask…

Photo taken from Flickr user: alexanderdrachmann

Questions we pose in our mind are a tricky thing. Tricky because we (translation: I) might start to over think them, if we don’t yet have an actual answer.

Personally, I like to have answers for everything in order to get clarity in a scenario, but I do not like asking for those answers. Part of the reason is because I’m not always ready to hear the answer, so instead I decide to keep my mouth shut, which usually leads to my over thinking, which sometimes isn’t so healthy…

When someone finally musters up the courage to ask away, they need to be prepared to hear just about any answer, positive or negative, conclusive or open ended, direct or indirect, truthful or not. Here’s the problem, people might just be looking to hear one particular answer. And chances are if we’ve been juggling around possible answers in our head, once we hear the “real” answer we might doubt, disbelieve, and/or reject it if it wasn’t the one we were expecting or hoping for.

Is it always necessary to dig for an answer? I think no. We can afford to leave some things unknown and leave some things unsaid. However, there are times when we need an answer in order to move forward with something or to let our minds rest in peace, it’s just a matter of determining when this is the case.

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How To Motivate Yourself To Workout

Photo taken from Flickr user: Steve-h

Lately I have been slacking on my workouts, and have also been eating out more than usual. As a result I have gained 5 pounds in the last two weeks or so. Uh oh! Then again, my body naturally gains weight going into Spring/Summer, and then losses it going into Fall/Winter (makes me feel better if I state this). You would think it should be the opposite (lose pounds in warm weather and gain pounds in cold weather), but apparently my body doesn’t work that way.

While I’m no personal trainer, I do have a few tricks that I find helpful in order to get myself in the working out spirit, and it seems like I need to review those at the moment. So here they are, one trick for every pound I have gained in the last couple of weeks:

  1. Pick a time of day
    For me, if I don’t do my work out in the late morning time (9-11am), then I’m less likely to do it at all. For others working out either really early in the morning (5-7am) or really late at night works better. The trick is: determine the workout time (early morning, morning, noon, afternoon, night) that you prefer or best benefits you.
  2. Choose between cardio and strength training
    Most people, I would assume, either prefer running or weight lifting, but not both. I personally am more of a runner and focus on setting new goals/records in that; anything I do with weights, I see as a bonus. The trick is: instead of doing a half-ass job in both cardio and strength training, go all out in one and treat the other one as supplementary to your overall workout.
  3. Set up the environment
    Honestly, I think this is half of the battle, or at least it is for me. Once I get myself dressed and out the door (to go running), I feel much more motivated and in the zone. The trick is: don’t think about the workout too much, just get yourself where you have to be (outdoors, gym, garage, wherever).
  4. Listen to your pump up music
    Certain songs have the necessary elements to pump us up, whether it’s upbeat music or not. The trick is: find the music that best gets you energized to work out.
  5. Develop a routine/schedule/consistency
    This is the glue that holds it all together. If you know exactly what to do, when to do it, and how to do it, then you’re probably more likely to do it. The trick is: determine what works best for you and keep at it.

These five tricks will need to be tweaked every few months, as they don’t usually stay effective throughout the whole year. For example, as it starts to get hotter, I like to go running earlier in the morning to avoid the heat and sun. Or if it’s raining season, I’ll skip my runs and do more weight lifting instead. Also, you’ll likely update your playlist constantly as you start to get tired of certain songs and new ones come out.

Just like every penny adds up to a dollar, so does every movement and workout to your overall progress. It’s not about doing a lot, but just doing something to move you forward.

The Hoodie Argument

Photo taken from Flickr user: Harlequeen

Geraldo Rivera made the following statements on the show Fox & Friends:

  • “I think the hoodie is as much responsible for Trayvon Martin’s death as George Zimmerman was.”
  • “You have to recognize that this whole stylizing yourself as a gangsta – you’re going to be a gangsta wannabe? Well, people are going to perceive you as a menace.”

After his segment on Fox & Friends, he tweeted two other statements:

  • “My own son just wrote to say he’s ashamed of my position re hoodies-still I feel parents must do whatever they can to keep their kids safe”
  • “Its not blaming the victim Its common sense-look like a gangsta&some armed schmuck will take you at your word”

I never knew that wearing a hoodie and looking like a gangsta were synonymous. Herein lies part of the problem with Geraldo Rivera’s argument. For some reason, Rivera is fixated on the hoodie being a dangerous article of clothing. A hoodie alone, I don’t believe, can be considered responsible for endangering someone’s life. And looking like a gangsta shouldn’t be responsible either, though, it probably would sway someone to look at a person with a much more vigilant eye.

What we wear, that is, our entire attire, and not just one article of clothing, certainly does influence people to form a particular judgment of us. Society as a whole simply does not hold the same opinion of an individual wearing baggy street clothes and of one wearing more formal attire, especially if the former is of a minority group and the latter is white. Sometimes even the same clothes on individuals of different races will formulate different judgments. Whether we like it or not, someone’s outside appearance and race will determine the type of attention, reaction, and treatment they will receive.

What’s important to remember is that clothing should not fabricate, whether positively or negatively, an individual’s character, and, consequently, cannot adequately determine their threat to society. Wearing gangsta-looking clothes does not automatically mean that someone is dangerous, just like wearing a suit, let’s say, does not mean that someone cannot be dangerous; it works both ways. Ultimately, even if someone looks like a gangsta no one should want to shoot them if they’re not being harmed by them.

Having grown up in a community that is primarily made up of African American, Asian, and Latino populations, I have seen and have been one of those stereotypical hoodie-wearing, young, and dark-skinned males. There was a time when I choose to wear clothes far bigger than my actual size because I was influenced by what I saw around me, but not because I was part of that crowd. Eventually I grew out of that phase and started wearing clothes that actually fit. Part of the reason was because I didn’t want to be associated with negative social circles; deep down I knew that outside of my community people would associate me and my clothing choices with being a gangsta. At no point in time, however, did I stop wearing hoodies.

While I do believe that individuals, especially those from minority groups, should choose what they wear carefully in order to not be seen as a threat, at the end of the day clothing choices is not what kills people. Weapons in the hands of ignorant and racist individuals who make lethal and rash decisions based on someone’s appearance, is what kills people.

Do I look like a gangsta?

The Streak Is Broken

Photo taken from Flickr user: bored-now

I was hoping to write about this at a future date with much more attractive results. Unfortunately I can’t, because a streak I had going is officially broken.

Meeting new people at any point in time, whether it’s strangers, friends of friends, or co-workers, is a normal part of life, but to meet romantic interests on the same dates from year to year is a little more rare. For the past two years (2010 and 2011), there have been three specific weekends, the same in both years, in which I have met someone new. They are: 1) the weekend after Valentine’s Day, 2) the weekend of a conference I volunteer for in March, and 3) my birthday weekend in October.

Besides the dates, another similarity from year to year has been the level of involvement with these “romantic interests.” The two guys I’ve met in February I actually ended up dating for a few months, though not exclusively. Nothing really happened with the guys I’ve met in March, besides exchanging contact information. And for the guys from October, we kept in contact for a while but never officially dated.

Going into this year, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t curious to find out whether this streak would continue. I thought it would be a little too coincidental, but nice, if I indeed did meet another three guys on these three weekends. But I also thought that if it didn’t happen, it’s not the end of the world (yet) and it’s not the only times I could meet someone new. I should say that I don’t go out of my way to make these meetings happen, they just kind of happen.

Well, for the third time, I met someone the weekend after Valentine’s Day. It was sort of a last minute date/meet; we’re still currently “talking” and whether we end up dating remains to be seen.

This past weekend I volunteered at the annual conference again, but unfortunately didn’t meet anyone new. Womp womp womp. Ironically, I actually noticed a lot more guys attending the conference this year, than the previous years, that were questionably gay. So really, my odds seemed better, but still nothing happened and that’s ok.

I’m not surprised or bummed out that the streak is broken, since it’s not the only times I can meet someone new. For me, it was just more comical and quaint, and I was interested to see how long I would have this “good luck.” Then again, I’m still single… so meeting those guys couldn’t really have been so much good luck (though I did at least remain friends with two of them). Regardless, I look forward to future meets and dates, and who knows, maybe a new streak will begin.

Hi there! Wasn’t expecting you.

Photo taken from Flickr user: mediafury

So far in my time as a blogger, I have been posting quotes, music related content, and my thoughts on different topics, but nothing really personal. So I thought maybe it was time to share a story of mine.

Back when I wrote Pant-less Public Parade, I said:
“Have you ever been caught without your pants? I have, by accident. But that’s a story for another day…”

Well, the day has come.

I’m not sure if those who read the post thought I was kidding, because I wasn’t. I really have been caught without my pants on. Thankfully though, I was at least wearing underwear.

Allow me to recap.

The guy I dated for most of last year decided to cook for me one time (actually more than once, but I think this was the first time), or should I say cook with me, since I had to help. I honestly thought I would just show up and start eating. I was clearly mistaken. The preparation and process was fairly simple, and the food was delicious! This dinner was on a Saturday night.

This individual had a roommate, who was supposed to be gone for the weekend and was not expected to be back until late Sunday night or possibly Monday. Here I thought, “Perfect!” Sadly, I was, yet again, mistaken.

The following morning (Sunday), I was up early, as I usually am, and couldn’t fall back to sleep. At first, I had an agenda. Once that was completed, someone wanted to go back to sleep, and it wasn’t me. I thought “Fine, I’ll just get up and do the dishes.” There’s nothing wrong with that, right? Are you still keeping track of the number of times I’ve been mistaken? Tally is now at 3.

I get up to go get started with the dishes. Because I thought we would be alone, I didn’t think it was necessary to put anything on. After a second thought, I decided to at least wear underwear. I’m literally not even out there for a minute, before I hear the main door crack open. The small kitchen is practically the center of the whole apartment and is on the way to the roommate’s room. I was frozen on the spot.

Now, I’m not sure if the situation was more embarrassing for me because I hadn’t previously met the roommate and was out there by myself, or if maybe it would have been just as embarrassing had I already met him. Despite that, the roommate was not alone. They had their sister or friend or girlfriend with them. The more the merrier, I suppose. As they walk by me all I could think to say was “Hi. Sorry.” They walk by and kind of just nod but don’t say anything. Needless to say, I did not wash the dishes and instead went back to the bedroom to hide.

I should also mention that this guy had not told his roommate that he’s gay. So, as embarrassing as it was for me, I could eventually leave and get out of there, while this guy still had to address the obvious with his roommate. But from what I heard the roommate had no issues with anything.

In hindsight, this story is much more funny than embarrassing, and it really isn’t that crazy of a story. If I had been naked, then that would have made for a juicier story. Regardless, it was an awkward morning for me. Moral of the story: don’t offer to do the dishes OR make sure to wear more clothing if the person you’re dating has a roommate.