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Why Are You Still Single?

Photo taken from Flickr user: Lel4nd

The Question
Why do people, usually a potential date, ask this in the first place?

On the surface, it’s a compliment, I guess, because this person is essentially saying you seem like a good catch, but deep down it’s really a pointless question to ask. The fact remains that people in general, whether young or old, are single at different times in their life. It happens, so instead of asking why, take advantage of someone’s singleness. Also, depending on who it’s coming from, the question might actually be an insult, as in saying “What’s wrong with you, why does no one want to be with you?”

I’ve gotten this question myself quite a few times. The first couple of times I was taken off guard and didn’t exactly know what to answer. But since then I have prepared a safe answer for it, which leads me to…

The Answer
There are an array of reasons why someone could be single, ranging from obvious reasons to it’s better not to know reasons. But really, why would you be single? Obviously you’re not going to put yourself down and disclose your negative characteristics, instead you might say:

  1. “I’m not looking for a relationship right now.”
  2. “I don’t feel ready for a relationship at the moment.”
  3. “I don’t have time for a relationship.”    or
    “I’m way too busy to be in a relationship.”
  4. “I’m casually dating multiple people, and don’t want to settle down with one.”
  5. “I’m not the dating type.”

But no matter what, I think the universal safe answer for anyone and everyone is: “I just haven’t met the right person yet.”

Perhaps 50% of the time it’s not that we’re not mentally ready or willing to date, it’s simply that we haven’t met someone who we find to be not just a good catch, but also a good match. The other 50%, let’s face it, it’s that we are difficulty, greedy, and picky… or is that just me? I digress.

I think that if we met someone who we like head over heels, and from head to heels, we would probably do everything possible to make it work no matter what, and if the timing is right, then everything should fall into place. In other cases, if there’s any doubt in either our attraction or compatibility to someone, we might make up an excuse for why we can’t keep seeing them or why we can’t be official.

The tricky part in all of this is finding that person who we find worthy of consuming our time, of requiring our attention, and, ultimately, of suffering for. In the meantime, you should avoid asking this question to anyone you’re dating or are trying to date. Just a suggestion…

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for.” – Bob Marley

The Streak Is Broken

Photo taken from Flickr user: bored-now

I was hoping to write about this at a future date with much more attractive results. Unfortunately I can’t, because a streak I had going is officially broken.

Meeting new people at any point in time, whether it’s strangers, friends of friends, or co-workers, is a normal part of life, but to meet romantic interests on the same dates from year to year is a little more rare. For the past two years (2010 and 2011), there have been three specific weekends, the same in both years, in which I have met someone new. They are: 1) the weekend after Valentine’s Day, 2) the weekend of a conference I volunteer for in March, and 3) my birthday weekend in October.

Besides the dates, another similarity from year to year has been the level of involvement with these “romantic interests.” The two guys I’ve met in February I actually ended up dating for a few months, though not exclusively. Nothing really happened with the guys I’ve met in March, besides exchanging contact information. And for the guys from October, we kept in contact for a while but never officially dated.

Going into this year, I would be lying if I said I wasn’t curious to find out whether this streak would continue. I thought it would be a little too coincidental, but nice, if I indeed did meet another three guys on these three weekends. But I also thought that if it didn’t happen, it’s not the end of the world (yet) and it’s not the only times I could meet someone new. I should say that I don’t go out of my way to make these meetings happen, they just kind of happen.

Well, for the third time, I met someone the weekend after Valentine’s Day. It was sort of a last minute date/meet; we’re still currently “talking” and whether we end up dating remains to be seen.

This past weekend I volunteered at the annual conference again, but unfortunately didn’t meet anyone new. Womp womp womp. Ironically, I actually noticed a lot more guys attending the conference this year, than the previous years, that were questionably gay. So really, my odds seemed better, but still nothing happened and that’s ok.

I’m not surprised or bummed out that the streak is broken, since it’s not the only times I can meet someone new. For me, it was just more comical and quaint, and I was interested to see how long I would have this “good luck.” Then again, I’m still single… so meeting those guys couldn’t really have been so much good luck (though I did at least remain friends with two of them). Regardless, I look forward to future meets and dates, and who knows, maybe a new streak will begin.