Supporting Shallowness

Photo taken from Flickr user: jox.

Shallow:

  • lacking depth of intellect or knowledge; concerned only with what is obvious

Being shallow gives someone a bad reputation, and I’m not sure why. Everyone is shallow. At one point or another we are all concerned with someone’s outside appearance more so than anything else, though, hopefully that’s only temporarily.

Is shallowness a bad thing? I’m thinking, no. Here’s why:

  1. Physical attractiveness is relative.
    Shallowness is associated with being interested only in attractive people. But if you’re shallow, it simply means you focus on the outside appearance. We seek out potential partners that fit our physical preferences based on their appearance. Whether that appearance is attractive or not, is another issue. And even then, what is attractive to one person won’t always be attractive to another.
  2. Helps ease the dating process.
    Shallowness is a natural part of courtship, and quite frankly necessary. We can give every person a glance, but we can’t possibly give every person a chance. It would be impossible to try to date every person we cross paths with, simply because we might have things in common. Certainly what’s on the inside is what’s most important, but what’s on the outside helps to considerably narrow down the dating pool in the beginning.
  3. It’s as natural as natural selection.
    We are drawn to those who can best meet our physical needs and desires so that we can reach personal gratification. If those needs and desires are not met, the chances of straying away from our partners would be higher. There’s no point in dating someone who won’t make us fully happy in our relationship because we’ll end up seeking someone else instead (note: I don’t mean cheating, but simply leaving a partner to search for another).

I guess the controversy over shallowness arises because one’s appearance is not the complete package, and to be liked or disliked based only on that is not completely fair. But the reality is, our appearance has a heavy influence on others’ willingness to date us.

My emphasis here is that being shallow should not necessarily be thought of as being interested only in good looking people. “Good looking” can be observed differently by different individuals. Shallowness is more of the concern over someone’s appearance (e.g. height, muscles, curves, tattoos, piercings, etc.), more so than anything else. Ideally, that concern would only be during the initial meet and greet phase, and eventually the focus would shift to inner characteristics.

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5 responses to “Supporting Shallowness”

  1. Marcos says :

    I couldnt agree more even if I wanted to. I’ve been trying to explain this to friends but with no luck. You explained this so amazingly. Love it 🙂

  2. logicalmynd says :

    I support your claim. I focus on (or acknowledge) the external physical attributes of potential mates. I am picky. It doesn’t stop me from associating with anyone but I believe people should look as smart as they think so they can attract equally intelligent company. I also believe that anyone who prides oneself on their relations presents themselves well. So a good looking individual may be more inclined to manage their relationships better. I think everyone is shallow to a degree, it is a matter of preference based on memories. And I have since evolved, so if I do not get that pheromone response activity when I meet a girl, I will not initially consider her as a serious mate but I will associate with her. That is a specific example of my chemical/physical preference (shallowness) in action. But my preferences include a girls wit and charm too. A serious mate would have to be able to talk about matters that interest me, and likewise. So, the processor should equal or eclipse the frame, but the frame should be bitchin.

    • Thick-Skinned Robot says :

      What you bring up is very important. Simply because we eliminate someone as a potential mate, due to their appearance, it doesn’t mean we should be against having any interaction with them, as there are other forms of relationships that can be built.

      Thanks for the comment!

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  1. Beauty Exists In Mind « Thick-Skinned Robot - February 12, 2012

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